Heart of the Wolf: A Wolfguard Protectors Novel Read online

  I had been dead or close to it. I had danced with the light, been drawn to it. I had felt myself giving in to it. Then, a fierce longing pulled me back, holding me in its grip. Desperate, explosive. It blotted out the light and kindled a primal need so strong it felt like a rebirth.

  “Nova.” My name burst from his lips in a hoarse whisper.

  That same need bonded me to him. It took the air from my lungs, heated my blood.

  I went to him. I never meant to. My anger and fear melted away and I just...wanted.

  Erik caught me in his arms. He kicked the door shut behind him and we tumbled into the center of the apartment in a tangle of limbs.

  I covered his face with starving kisses. He hooked his thumbs through the belt loops of my jeans and dragged them down. I did the same to him.

  He had me up against the couch. I reached for him, closing my fingers around his rigid cock. Groaning, he entered me, finding me slick and so ready.

  Our coupling was fast, hungry, raw. Neither of us even took the time to slip out of our jeans all the way. We left them pooled around our ankles as Erik lifted my hips, perching me on the edge of the couch so he could plunge my depths.

  I clutched him to me, one hand around his neck, the other digging into his shoulder. I threw my head back and let out a scratching growl. My fangs dropped. The next thing I knew, I sank them into his shoulder.

  Erik went stiff and still, absorbing the bite. His eyes had gone purely feral. His claws came out.

  My orgasm rocked through me. Erik licked a trail from my shoulder, up the column of my throat, then settling on my lips again. He kissed me through it as the waves of pleasure washed over me.

  Then, he took his turn. He flipped me so I was fully bent over the back of the couch, my ass high in the air. Then, he fucked me deep, taking his own sinful pleasure.

  “Never again,” he growled as he thrust inside me. I gripped the couch, bracing myself.

  He took his own anger and fear out on me with each punishing thrust. It stirred my wildest nature.

  Yes. This. All of him.

  “Don’t ever leave me again,” he said his tone thick, guttural. I rocked back and forth as Erik redoubled his rhythm. He held me in place with one hand on my shoulder, the other spreading me wide.

  My teeth rattled. I bit my own lip. The taste of blood only turned up the heat in my core.

  “You’re mine.” His words came so low, I wasn’t sure he even spoke them aloud.

  The message was clear, elemental. Submit.

  God. Yes. I wanted to. It was as if every cell in my body realigned as Erik meted out my punishment.

  My pleasure began to build again. He had me swollen, throbbing, begging to take it even harder. He delivered.

  “Mine,” he said.

  His teeth grazed my neck and I gasped. The center of my need shifted from between my legs to that spot at the base of my neck. I wanted his mark. I craved it.

  He sucked me there but didn’t dare bite. He delivered a quick slap on my ass that sent my heart racing. A groan of pleasure escaped me.

  Then, Erik let go. Crumpling over me so his lips brushed my ear, he spilled inside of me whispering that one word, over and over.

  Mine.

  I came right along with him, even deeper than the first time. I felt each pulsing ripple of him. I took it in.

  My pulse matched his as it had the moment he had first burst into my life. Undeniable. Instinctual. Brutal. Dangerous.

  “Mine,” he whispered. And I felt the echoing truth in my heart.

  Later, Erik led me to the bathroom. He drew a bath and gently eased me into it. Where he’d been rough and strong in the other room, here he was tender and deliberate.

  We had no words. I felt my muscles melt in the soothing water. Erik’s ministrations brought me back into myself. His hands lingered over the new, shiny, round scar just below my right ribcage where the bullet had gone in.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked.

  I put my hand over his. “Not really,” I said. “It just feels a little tight.”

  “You’ll likely always have that scar,” he said. “It’ll fade some.”

  I nodded. We fell silent. I stayed in the tub until the water started to cool. Then, Erik held a towel out for me and folded me into it.

  Later, we sat at the bar in the little kitchenette. Erik had food sent up and I picked at it.

  “He’s dead,” Erik said abruptly.

  “You killed him,” I said.

  He set his fork down. “Yes.”

  “But there’s something you’re not telling me.”

  Erik hesitated. I knew he’d been working up to fill me in on whatever happened downstairs. We’d both been working up to have a bigger conversation about what happened between us.

  “He’s one of the wolves who came after you in Little Fork,” he said. “Same pack.”

  “So doesn’t that mean they all know where to find me? Aren’t they telepathically connected?”

  “They are,” he answered. “But this wolf was acting alone. I don’t know how he broke free. I don’t care. The second we chained him in Dragonsteel, he was no longer able to shift or communicate with his pack. You’re safe, Nova. As long as you don’t pull anything like that again.”

  There it was. The anger.

  “You don’t own me,” I said, letting my own temper rise. “And I don’t...I don’t want to be part of this.” I gestured with my hands in circles, meaning the building, Wolfguard.

  “It’s a little too late for that,” he said. “You knew that when you agreed to set the trap at that shifter club.”

  “Great,” I said. “It worked great. It almost got me killed.”

  “Because you left!” he roared. “My God. What the hell were you thinking? You can’t survive out there by yourself. The Ring knows you exist. They are actively hunting you. And that fucking wolf downstairs…”

  “What about him?” I yelled. “He tried to kill me. Why is that? That’s not the Ring’s M.O. They didn't’ kill Sena until after she was...ruined.”

  A bit of the color drained from Erik’s face. I felt his pain and in spite of it all, I went to him. His heart felt raw. As angry and trapped as I felt, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to tumble back to the floor and drown myself in him.

  “It’s because of me,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

  “What?”

  “My family,” he continued. “I told you, the Kalenkovs reclaimed leadership in Russia. It hasn’t been without a price. The war between my family and the Vadim family has been won. But, there are still those who don’t think so.”

  I sat back on one of the barstools. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me the pack that came after me has ties to the Vadims?”

  He closed his eyes and sighed. “I am.”

  “I don’t… were they after me or you back in Little Fork?”

  His eyes snapped open. “As near as we can figure, they aligned themselves with the Ring after my family overthrew them. They were sent to the cabin to bring you in for the Ring.”

  My mouth dropped. “Then you showed up.”

  He curled a fist and thumped it against the granite countertop, cracking it.

  Pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. “Your war isn’t over at all, is it?”

  “It is,” he said. “This pack...this wolf...he acted alone. I saw it in his eyes as he lay dying.”

  “Great,” I said. “So I’ve been targeted by some the Ring and some rabid, freelance wolf shifter who just happens to have a vendetta against your family. The Ring can’t have endorsed the hit on me. You know that, right?”

  “The Vadims go after family members and people we care about. They’ve...they’ve done it before.”

  Erik’s agony burned through me. I couldn’t help myself. I needed his touch. He needed mine. As my fingers grazed his shoulder, I knew.

  “Irina?” I asked, feeling an odd mixture of Erik’s grief and my own misplaced jealousy.

&nbs
p; “Yes,” he finally said, and I knew it cost him something. “She was…”

  “Your mate?” I asked. “Erik, I think you need to tell me the truth about her.”

  “No,” his answer came quickly. “She was...I loved her. We were very young. I was arrogant. Cocky. I thought I was invincible. It happened in Moscow just a few months before my Uncle Andre arranged for what was left of our family to escape. The Vadims killed my parents. They killed Andre’s mate. Aunts, uncles. I should have understood the danger I was putting Irina in. But, she was human.”

  “How old were you?” I asked.

  He swallowed hard. “Seventeen. She was just sixteen. She would have followed me anywhere. I could talk to her in ways I couldn’t with anyone else. We had a deep friendship. I mistook it for something else. I had no idea what true mates feel like. Not then.”

  “But you loved her,” I said. “That’s not a sin.”

  “It is when I couldn’t protect her. It was foolish of me. I had no business getting close to her like that without the ability to bond with her like mates do. So, when the assassin came for her...I didn’t sense her fear. I came too late to help her. She...she died in my arms.”

  I saw it. God help me. As I touched Erik, I connected with him and could see Irina’s pain through his eyes. Pain he bore with each breath.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. “Erik, she was murdered. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “They did it to hurt me. To weaken us.”

  “You were a boy,” I said. I knew what it was like for young Alpha shifters like that. They’re all emotion and hormones, barely able to control their animals.

  “I didn’t stop it,” he said. “All I did was bring Irina pain.”

  I went to him. Understanding blossomed in my heart. I was nothing like Irina. But, Erik must have thought I would die in his arms just like her.

  He turned, pulling me into the space between his legs. “Promise me,” he said. “Don’t do anything like that again. If I hadn’t gotten to you in time today…”

  “You did,” I whispered.

  “Promise me,” he said it again, his voice breaking. It was an echo of the punishing rhythm of our coupling.

  “I won’t,” I said. “Until we find a way to stop them. I won’t go off by myself again.”

  Erik’s shoulders settled. I let him draw me against him, his warmth sending new waves of pleasure through me.

  I prayed I could keep my promise before it tore us both apart.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Erik

  “We’ll keep four men guarding the perimeter at all times,” Payne said. One week later, we had Nova installed in a new safehouse in a suburb of Salt Lake City. I’d selected it myself. The terrain reminded me a little of her place in Little Fork. I hoped it felt more like home. I knew she felt trapped and it broke me a little to see her surrender to it. It was against her nature in every way. But, she was alive. I would keep her safe, even if I couldn’t keep her happy.

  “The alarm system is online,” he said, handing me the tablet displaying the feed from all six cameras. I tried not to focus on the one in the living room. Nova sat there looking out at the woods. I felt her longing and pushed down my own.

  “We’ve got this, Erik,” Payne said. “I understand your concerns.”

  His eyes narrowed. Though he wouldn’t say it out loud, I knew what he meant. Payne had a mate of his own. He was putting the full resources of Wolfguard behind this job. Nova was our number one priority.

  “Thank you,” I said. “I can take it from here. Make sure the men outside know they need to be as unobtrusive as possible. I want Nova to know they’re there but barely see them.”

  Payne nodded. “We’re on the same page. I can’t...I...Erik, I know what she’s going through. You know that, right?”

  I did. Payne Fallon hadn’t just led a rebellion in Kentucky. For years he’d suffered under the influence of one of the most infamous Tyrannous Alphas who had ever lived. He still bore the scars inside and out. Yes. Payne knew what it was to feel trapped and out of control. I just hoped it wouldn’t lead Nova to do anything else foolish.

  I shook Payne’s hand. All I wanted was to be by Nova’s side from here on out. Even though I knew I risked her viewing me more as her captor than her protector. It was a chance I was willing to take. Nothing else mattered but keeping her alive and safe. Nothing.

  She had a ready smile for me as I closed the door and went to her.

  “It’s nice,” she said.

  It was. We’d picked a ranch-style home in the middle of nowhere, bordering the woods. It sat on a ten-acre plot with a small pond to the east. Wolfguard owned it and the surrounding properties. It was quiet here. Peaceful. Someday, I wanted to settle in a place like this. As I thought of it, I imagined building a home that Nova would like.

  I chased those thoughts away. It could never happen. Not while Nova was in danger.

  “I wish things could be different,” I said. “Hopefully soon. Then, you can go back to your life.”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Good. And I’m sure you’re anxious to go back to yours too.”

  I nodded. I set the tablet down and went over the placement of the security cameras. “Your bedroom is off-limits,” I said. “The interior anyway. But, we’ve got them pointed at the window and the hallway.”

  “Right, no going in or out without someone knowing about it.” I think she meant to let the humor into her tone, but it fell flat and twisted my heart.

  “Nova, it’s not forever. I promise.”

  She met my gaze. “Erik, you can’t promise that. Not unless Wolfguard has some plan to wipe out the Ring forever. They can’t. I’m not an idiot.”

  “We will for damn sure root out the faction hunting you!”

  She let out a bitter laugh. “Then another one will rise up to take their place. I know how this goes. As long as I exist, they’ll always want me. I’ve lived with that knowledge my whole life. It’s why my sister did what she did. She went with them willingly because she thought it was better than living in fear and hiding her whole life.”

  “I won’t let that happen,” I said.

  She gave me a smile, but I recognized it for what it was. She was trying to placate me. I wouldn’t have it.

  “Nova,” I said. “I take my vows seriously. We’ll find a way.”

  “I want to believe that.”

  “You can.”

  “Everyone who’s ever tried is dead, Erik. I don’t...I don’t want you to be one of them.”

  I couldn’t help it. That got a laugh out of me. “Growing on you, am I?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” she said. My heart lifted along with the mood. I loved her genuine smile. I loved…

  No. I wouldn’t let my mind go there. Not again.

  “You smell,” she said. “Like all dogs.”

  “Watch it, cat,” I answered back. “So do you.”

  Things were easy between us then. I had groceries delivered and they sat in bags on the counter. Nova and I started to put everything away. It felt comfortable. Normal. I found myself wishing I could trust it.

  What would it be like to let someone like her into my life for good? I’d never spent this kind of time with a woman before. I’d guarded plenty for Wolfguard over the years, but that was business. Irina and I had been so young, we hadn’t gotten the chance to do domestic things like this. It felt good. Nova had a wry sense of humor and her laughter warmed my soul.

  Later, as she drew herself a bath, I went out to check in with the guards posted around the house. Payne made good on his promise. These were all men I trusted. Three wolf shifters, two bear shifters, and a tiger shifter. It was a good mix. They’d work through the night and a second shift would come on at noon the next day. Between their instincts and the state-of-the-art alarm system, nothing could get by us.

  Which meant Nova couldn’t get out either. I knew she viewed it that way. But, there wasn’t anything I could do about
that for now.

  When I came back inside, I found her already asleep. She left the door to her room open and the sight of her took my breath away.

  Her dark hair fanned out beneath her. Her brows cut a stark contrast to her flawless skin. I wanted to go to her. I wanted to nuzzle her neck and rouse her with my tongue. I knew her body would respond to mine as if she’d been born to it.

  She had.

  The truth of that knowledge thundered through me. She was born for me and I was born for her.

  My fated mate.

  It was so simple and yet...not. Because she was right. The Ring had placed its highest bounty on her. They would never stop coming. We could beat them back. But, when we cut off one head, another would grow. They had existed in one form or another for thousands of years. If we drove them out and put them on the run, they would lie in wait. Maybe a decade, maybe a century, but they would return stronger.

  But this time, this woman...they would not take her. I would see to it even if it meant denying every instinct in my body.

  Curling my fists to stave off my growing lust, I moved away, quietly closing her door behind me.

  Nova looked rested when she came to join me for breakfast the next morning. She sipped her coffee while I went over the security footage from last night.

  “Anything interesting?” she asked.

  “No,” I said. “Nothing more exciting than a handful of whitetail deer grazing in the north quadrant.”

  I turned the table so she could see. Her eyes glinted.

  “Erik,” she said. “There's been something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Something I need.”

  “Anything,” I said it before thinking.

  “I want to...I need to hunt. It’s been weeks since I’ve shifted. I’m starting to lose my mind a little.”

  “Nova, it’s not a good idea.”

  “Please,” she said. “Erik, you have to know how hard it is for me to even ask you this. Permission, I mean. It makes me want to…”

  She didn’t have to finish her sentence for me to guess her feelings. She was planning to go out there and shift into her jaguar whether I endorsed the idea or not.